Santa Vs. The Christmas Tech Blues

The news had come out, and it was very bad. Santa’d made his helpers really, really mad.
The North Pole, they said, he’d tried to automate, but the local response had not been that great. ‘Twas the night before Christmas and 40 below: Santa’s self-driving Tesla sleigh was stuck in the snow. And there were no reindeer, for they had all quit, while the elves all walked off in some sort of snit.

Christmas bells, those Christmas bells rang across the land;
Santa needed his staff back
And a very big helping hand.

Santa he turned to the only helper still there, “OK, Alexa,” he said. “Help find me my reindeer. And send them a gift that says magical creatures can never be replaced by those shiny tech features.”

Christmas deals, those Christmas deals sent by the speaker so smart,
Alexa got the reindeer home in time, though it was, to be fair, quite the squeaker.

Alexa then got the angry elves on the line;
Santa offered the option to be paid in real time.
It was a start, but the elves wanted more perks: “Give us Apple Watches, and we’ll all come back to work.” Santa agreed, they loaded the sleigh:
Toys for the children, food for impoverished bitcoin heads. They set their Google maps and were off on their way. No thanks to that useless self-driving sleigh.

Christmas bells, those Christmas bells rang across the land.
Santa made it after all,
To the relief of all his fans.