What one eats during Super Bowl is sacrosanct, as in, “Don’t even look near my chili fries. Avert your eyes.” There’s something primitive about it. It’s the psychology of Super Bowl snacks.
For example, did you know that researchers have found a correlation between one’s eating habits depending on which team won the Super Bowl?
Famed neuroscientist Rachel Herz told NPR that while snack choices are intriguing, “what’s more interesting is what happens Monday,” she said, with NPR adding that “one day later, fans who were pulling for the team that lost are likely to keep making unhealthy food choices.”
Unhealthy? Next time that word is mentioned it’s speed drills until we literally melt into a puddle of sweat — and regret – over hurtful descriptions of wondrous Super Bowl snacking.
Let’s take it by category, starting with winged wonderings.
Confidential sources deep within the National Chicken Council inform us that America’s love affair with these unflightworthy appendages will be even more pronounced this weekend.
Per an NCC press release, “Americans are anticipated to devour 1.42 billion wings while watching the Cincinnati Bengals and Los Angeles Rams battle for the Lombardi Trophy, according the National Chicken Council’s (NCC) 2022 Wing Report.”
What’s more surprising, the sheer number of wings, or existence of an annual Wing Report?
Unable to decide (and being in the drumstick camp besides), we move on to salsa.
Cincinnati.com made this shocking statement: “Super Bowl 56 is three days away, but fans planning a party to watch the Bengals chase history may run into a snack snafu due to a shortage of one tailgate food staple.” It’s cream cheese.
The story continues, “Across the country, grocery shoppers have noticed empty cream cheese shelves and in Cincinnati, some social media users noted online how the shortage may affect Bengals fans from making Super Bowl dips, including the famous local Skyline Chili dip.”
The cream cheese squeeze is being blamed on a widely reported cyberattack in October that targeted Wisconsin-based Schreiber Foods, America’s biggest cheesemaker.
“Villainous” doesn’t begin to capture this attack on innocent curds in the heartland. Already hurting from supply chain shortages, the outlook for Super Bowl dips is dipping.
That’s where the avocado pivot play comes in. We like the strange take of gaming site Onlinegambling.com, which states, “Only 3 things in life are certain: death, taxes and copious amounts of guacamole on Super Bowl Sunday.”
It then gets into a breakdown of how much water it takes to grow avocados, but we didn’t come for a lesson in AgTech. We want something green to dip chips in. Is that so wrong?
Suppose you’re lucky enough to find yourself in the stands at L.A.’s SoFi Stadium when the Rams face the Bengals? What if you order wings or chips and salsa, and get denied?
Our personal choice: robot sushi.
As LA Weekly tells us, “Taka Hirano, who oversees the entire sushi operation for SoFi Stadium games and events, has partnered with AUTEC, the nation’s leading commercial sushi robot provider, in order to bring high-quality sushi quickly to fans, in an effort to reduce long lines during the game.”
SoFi seats 70,000 people, and if just 1% of those fans opt for sushi, that’s 700 rolls to be made and sold within the average 3.5-hour duration of Super Bowl games.
Producing 700 or more sushi rolls in under four hours during a labor shortage is why we have robots at all, isn’t it? Sure, they have other uses — like microsurgery — but priorities, people.
If all else fails — and even if it goes exactly according to plan — pizza will have a role to play.
In case you missed it, Feb. 9 was National Pizza Day, which comes dangerously close to Super Bowl Sunday. Something about that feels intentional.
Foodie news site Delish did a nice job of collecting all the pizza, quick-service and fast-food delivery deals happening for Super Bowl LIV. Order ahead. Use an app.
And may the best team win.